Number 223 - December 2001
THIS Explains Everything!
by Fred Langa in "Just For Grins" in his 11/08/2001 Column
(www.langa.com/newsletters/2001/2001-11-08#10)
    My sister sent this to me from Florida. I don't think she meant anything personal by it,

    THIS explains everything!

    We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give more than 100 percent of your effort. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future.

    The English alphabet A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z can be represented as numbers where A=1 and Z=26. So you can convert any word into an equivalent sum by adding the values of the word's constituent numbers. Thus:
    HARDWORK: 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% only
    KNOWLEDGE: 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% only
But:
    ATTITUDE: 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
And
    BULLS**T: 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
    So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, but attitude and bullsh**t will put you over the top.

TOGGLE Editor's Note:
    In his 11/12/01 column Langa added that Steve Waskow suggests:

    "The old tried and true K I S S I N G *** beats them both with 108%, while the George W Bush method H A V I N G T H E R I G H T P A R E N T S tops them all with a rousing 249%."

    We get different scores for KISSING (88) with ***=UP of 37 yielding 125 and ***=ASS of 39 yielding 127.

    You just can't get good stuff like this anywhere else but in the computer world where trivia rules!
 
  Number 223 - December 2001